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"Because I thought no one would appreciate this better than you!" - Anonymous (also known as the owner of this bum bum).
 
Damn right my love.
Every once in a while I disappear as life takes me through the throes of it all.
I woke up this morning and realised it’s coming to a year since I last blogged. I went online and clicked the inbox icon and to my utmost delight, out popped this image.
I was so happy I almost cried tears of happiness through my willy. It was ‘submitted’ via this blog several months ago, but why am I just seeing this now?! *hangs head in shame*
I have a love/hate relationship with ‘Netty (the internet), so once in a while I give her a finger or two and keep it moving, yet no matter how hard I try to fight it, deep down I know me and Netty are made for each other.
Please keep sending me pictures of your bum bums, indulge me by asking them intriguing questions y’all be asking and I in turn will continue to force feed posts from the inner working of my mind up your eyes and into your brains.
The balance will be restored.
Submit pictures through the “send me anything, like literally anything” link and ask any questions you may have by clicking the “ask me anything, like literally anything” link.
As always, I will remove names and information linking posts back to their authors. 
I’m back. Let’s do this

"Because I thought no one would appreciate this better than you!" - Anonymous (also known as the owner of this bum bum).

 

Damn right my love.

Every once in a while I disappear as life takes me through the throes of it all.

I woke up this morning and realised it’s coming to a year since I last blogged. I went online and clicked the inbox icon and to my utmost delight, out popped this image.

I was so happy I almost cried tears of happiness through my willy. It was ‘submitted’ via this blog several months ago, but why am I just seeing this now?! *hangs head in shame*

I have a love/hate relationship with ‘Netty (the internet), so once in a while I give her a finger or two and keep it moving, yet no matter how hard I try to fight it, deep down I know me and Netty are made for each other.

Please keep sending me pictures of your bum bums, indulge me by asking them intriguing questions y’all be asking and I in turn will continue to force feed posts from the inner working of my mind up your eyes and into your brains.

The balance will be restored.

Submit pictures through the “send me anything, like literally anything” link and ask any questions you may have by clicking the “ask me anything, like literally anything” link.

As always, I will remove names and information linking posts back to their authors. 

I’m back. Let’s do this

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I want three in the bed but my boyfriend said ….

With great joy I present the first guest post on my blog by Miss Candice from Before Sex After Love (BSAL).

Once you’ve read the post below check out my steps to the perfect 3 way at http://www.beforesexafterlove.com.

Enjoy.

"Maybe it’s the way that she looks so full, stretched to her maximum. Maybe it’s he homoerotic undertone. Maybe I’m just greedy. I cannot pin point my reasons for wanting to indulge in a MFM threesome. My fascination began innocently enough. Porn became my way of escaping the mundane and immersing myself in a fantasy world; filled with more cocks that one girl could play with at one time. I think it says something about my ego. There is something very sexy about being the object of a more than one mans affection at any one time. Well for me anyways.

Being the adventurous spirit that I am, I have of course tried to make this dream a reality. While I knew it was going to be hard (hopefully) to find a man willing to put up with another cock being in the room I didn’t know that it was going to be this hard. When approaching the subject with boyfriends past, I was always counter questioned about why I wouldn’t want to bring another girl into the mix. Pause.

As if my request for another cock should be triumphed by the need for another cunt. Frustrated with my counterparts lack of understanding, I began to investigate my needs elsewhere. While I never cheated, I began to discuss my desires with men who were more confident and less ego led. Confidence and ego. The Yin & Yang of all things sexually related. Not once did any of these men think about perhaps being labeled as homosexual. There main fear was being compared to the other man in the room. The difference between them and me was that, they couldn’t see how such a threesome would enhance their sexual experience, not hinder it. Is it a bit much to ask your guy to watch another party stretches you? Maybe so. But what if you’re asking him to help with the stretching?
I know that having another mans testicles swinging against yours, may be a bit much t take. But in all honesty, all I want to do is have some fun. Where is the reciprocity? I am willing to try most things to please my man but yet for some reason, when it comes to a MFM he always leaves out one of the M’s.

So the real question is, how do I move forward? Do I sacrifice a perfectly happy monogamous relationship for at max, a two hour fantasy, or do I push the urge to the back of my mind, hoping that one a day a man who has the cojones to back up his talk, will actually meet my request out of wanting to pleasure me?
Because that’s the reality of the situation. A happy pussy makes for a happy person, which in turn makes for a happy partnership.”

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Why be judgemental?
Why not accept people as they are?

I remember someone asking me once
“why are you like this”
I was silent.

Most people are judged because of their age, gender, sexuality, race etc.
Sometimes people are judged about more superficial things like
the clothes they wear,
the car they drive - or don’t drive,
the music they listen to (I liked a girl once upon a time and she was put off by the fact that I listened to Justin Bieber, *sighs* I know)
or the fact that they were born in a particular part of the world, in a particular continent, in a particular country, in a particular city, in a particular borough or district, in a

FFS
*Alexander throws his keyboard*

If God created us all to be the same person, what kind of rubbish world would we live in?
Forgive me for not being ‘normal’
(whatever the fuck that is)
and maybe engaging in a lifestyle I enjoy,
wearing and styling myself the way I like
and having ‘Star-Wars-meets-Avatar-ish-out-of-this-world-Narnia-esque’ values.
but it’s our differences that makes us human and pretty much makes the world go around.

Embrace difference, you may find it interesting, learn a thing or two and even actually enjoy it.

This post was inspired by the comments I received after uploading the image of these three lovely ladies in the picture above. It was interesting to read opinions that I never asked for, about women that they did not know.
If this post makes you reconsider anal sex with your partner please let me know as I might have to send this post to ‘one two gyal’,
ya get me fam?

Why be judgemental?

Why not accept people as they are?

I remember someone asking me once

“why are you like this”

I was silent.

Most people are judged because of their age, gender, sexuality, race etc.

Sometimes people are judged about more superficial things like

the clothes they wear,

the car they drive - or don’t drive,

the music they listen to (I liked a girl once upon a time and she was put off by the fact that I listened to Justin Bieber, *sighs* I know)

or the fact that they were born in a particular part of the world, in a particular continent, in a particular country, in a particular city, in a particular borough or district, in a

FFS

*Alexander throws his keyboard*

If God created us all to be the same person, what kind of rubbish world would we live in?

Forgive me for not being ‘normal’

(whatever the fuck that is)

and maybe engaging in a lifestyle I enjoy,

wearing and styling myself the way I like

and having ‘Star-Wars-meets-Avatar-ish-out-of-this-world-Narnia-esque’ values.

but it’s our differences that makes us human and pretty much makes the world go around.

Embrace difference, you may find it interesting, learn a thing or two and even actually enjoy it.

This post was inspired by the comments I received after uploading the image of these three lovely ladies in the picture above. It was interesting to read opinions that I never asked for, about women that they did not know.

If this post makes you reconsider anal sex with your partner please let me know as I might have to send this post to ‘one two gyal’,

ya get me fam?

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After several years of exposé style documentaries from the BBC, constant mockery regarding my nappy/picky hair, abuse regarding my lengthy and unpronounceable middle names (all 6 of them), my country’s infamy for fraud, loudness, flamboyant living, gold digging women, untrustworthy men and the apparent general misplacement of pride in my country’s general worth, I have decided to cut my losses and call it a day.

I have decided to change nationalities.


I look forward to a life eating kidney beans cooked in rice, eating overhyped seasoned chicken and drinking aphrodisiac’s made from various goat parts, sometimes including the head, brains, heart, feet tripe and testicles - boiled in water with peppers, yam, green banana and other good stuff (note this is a real dish) *straight face*.


I will live a fruitful life, as I reproduce with various women all over the world.

I will change my name to Winston and help Stella get her groove back. 

I will communicate with everyone in a special made up language that is not English and yet expect everyone to understand me (regardless of whether they have a clue what I’m saying).


Fuck Brothers Grimm, Brer Rabbit and Aesop’s Fables. My children will grow up reading about the adventures of the amazing spiderman (no Peter Parker) known as Anancy *shudders*.

I will eat blighia sapida with fish that has been laced with salt and I will love it, obviously. 

I will finally get a driver’s license, own a nice car, move to Brixton and start my own gardening business.


I will learn and create several silly dance moves, sing naughty songs about filth, allow my daughters to also listen to this music and attend raves in their bra and panties. When I grow old, I will play dominoes, attend bingo and frequent betting shops. 

Obviously smoking till my lungs turn green is a normality, but my biggest achievement will be my pride in my country’s finest sporting accomplishment - a man that can run very fast (well jel). 

I’ve been growing my hair and beard, I’m almost there …
oh don’t forget my gold teeth too *smiles* 



Oh I almost forgot, just thought I’d throw in a random fact. Not that this post has anything to do with it, but today is Jamaican Independence Day. Happy independence, I hope it pops off and you have a blast (not literally please guys).


Imagine the looks of confusion on the faces of the Jobcentre staff when they notice every Brown, Campbell, Clarke, Grant, Johnson, Powell and ‘Simit’ (Smith) cancel their afternoon appointments, at least all their remaining clients will be on time. 
I can only place blame and a big fat Red Stripe next to Wray and his Nephew for this travesty.


No, jokes aside, let’s all hug and kiss (“and sex yay” *every one stops and stares at Alexander*). 
End the stone throwing oh glass house dwellers, whether you’re in a marketplace or not.


‘Out of Many, One People’.


Touché, touché.

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Casual sex, freak, deviant, homosexual, low wage employee, whore, head (oral sex), pain, swelling and the infamous line: “I-couldn’t-eat-for-a-week”, are just some of the typical connotations attached to tongue piercings. So when 11-year-old (she is still not a teenager yet) Willow Smith, daughter of Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, uploaded a picture of her mouth open, revealing a ball on her tongue, it was assumed she had got her tongue pierced.

Strong minded. Rebel. Wild child. Willow.   

Obviously I love it, but clearly the controversy was unprecedented on her part. 

The disapproval from members of the public centred mainly on her age and an flurry of blame was directed at her parents for allowing her to commit such a travesty *mock gasp*. Let us be Frank (no Ocean), no one wants to think their little girl is out there giving BJs and if tongue piercings go hand in hand with fellatio/cunnilingus, it is no surprise people were shocked when they saw the picture.


Willow later stated it was not a real piercing and apologised after receiving heavy criticism on Instagram and Twitter.

When I saw the picture, I told myself, unless Will and Jada’s parenting is impacting negatively on their children, it’s their business what they do in their family.

Ear piercings are one of the oldest known forms of body modification, from Biblical days to William Shakespeare. In the late 60s, the piercing began to appear amongst gay men. I remember growing up and being told that men who pierce their right (or was it left?) ear were gay. During the late 80s/early 90s more men challenged this notion of sexual orientation and masculinity, with celebrities supposed heterosexual men like Mr T getting both his ears pierced.

Nowadays, seeing a guy with his ear pierced is a normal thing, yet I can’t help but wonder how many of these people know about know about the association the piercing had with homosexuality. I then wonder if all the tongue piercing needs are another 10 years for everyone to grow up and get over its lewd image.

I actually understand that Willow’s fan base is important and public opinion matters a lot nowadays, that aside, should the girl have felt like she needed to apologise for putting a magnet on her tongue? Behave. 

It’s interesting how one can have as many piercings as you want in your ear, but your tongue is forbidden unless you are intending to give oral sex. Remember, if this picture was real and the piercing actually existed, the piercer would have had to ask Willow for the presence or written consent of at least one of her parents or legal guardians, as she is under 18 and trying to get something other than her ear pierced.

It’s interesting how people perceive body modifications. A girl can get her ears pierced mere weeks after she is born to enhance her aesthetically pleasing features or in an attempt to fulfil socially constructed norms, i.e. girls have pierced ears. On the flip side, a boy can get his willy semi castrated (commonly known as circumcision) under the banner of religion and cleanliness. 

Put simply everything is relative and subjective. 

I get that people were not approving of the piercing due to Willow’s age. In the western world we see children as fragile and in need of protection. Sexy is not something we attribute to an 11 year old and Willow needs to be aware that the day when people no longer have an issue with that is definitely not here yet. Children get babied in our society, whereas in other parts of the world, girls are married by their 16 birthday, children as young as 7 can work a whole day for few pence to make the shoes me and you spend pounds on pounds to buy. I’ve seen parents give their children a good spanking and other parents telling their kids that they wouldn’t be able to stay up as a result of being naughty. Both were punishments their parent regards as just and fair.

Put simply everything is relative and subjective.
 

Age is a concept which differs from culture to culture. In several countries across the world, Willow would be expected to be able to look after younger siblings, attend school, cook meals, sell food in a market and possibly be preparing for an imminent marriage. As a wife she would be regarded as a woman and such a choice as a piercing would be between her and her spouse. Let’s go even deeper, there are cultures that practice tribal marking (scarification), elongating the neck through, making the feet appear small through binding of the feet, piercing/stretching of the ears, lips and many other practices western civilisation may not necessarily approve of. There is no wrong or right with such things, there is just reality.

Sometimes people need to sort out their lives before trying to sort out other people’s lives. People may think they have the right to question the parenting methods of others but what you frown on may be someone’s reality. 

I honestly think it was all fun and games for Willow and she just never expected the backlash she’d receive from ‘holier than thou’ individuals who will always have something to say. How many girls have played grown up, running around in parents or siblings rooms, prancing around with elaborate jewellery, thick makeup, 6 inch heels, and wigs that would turn any black girl purple with envy? Touché, touché, I play, just like you played ‘dress up’ when you were younger.

I regularly talk to girls who say they secretly want to get their tongues pierced, but never would because they’re scared of pain (they’ve usually been told that it’s really painful and you can’t eat for days *rolls eyes for like 10 minutes before kisses teeth loudly*), they have jobs that will not accommodate such a piercing, or they’re aware of the demeaning connotations attached to the piercing and refuse to be subjected to the taboo associated with the work, no matter how much they love it. 

I am not hopelessly naïve.

Yes, I agree there are people who will get their tongue pierced because of all the attributes linked to it: the sex appeal, the potentially increased pleasure one can give during oral sex, the idea of being rebellious etc, but to paint everyone with the same brush would be a foolish. 

To assume only makes an ass out of u and me (‘u’ and ‘u’ in this instance). 

I believe that parents are the ones to careful guide their children through life. I love that Willow’s parents allow her to shave and dye her hair as well as get piercings. I believe when necessary they will offer correction and reign in her freedom. Children mature differently however until such a time as she is 18 her parents call the shots and they are wholly responsible for her.

Still love her though. 

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I was supposed to post this on Tuesday for #TellTaleTuesday,
I want to apologise but that wouldn’t be right.

I mean, I was busy living life like a fucking motherfucking monsterrr, I can’t apologise for that.

Forgive the typos, I’m rushing around.

Man like @vescoe updates his Instagram regularly and his latest post asked
"do you wonder why people who are active on their Insta never like your photos"’

I found myself thinking
"mmm"
I mean I have over 1350 followers and getting over 100 likes on any of my pictures is uncommon.

So I asked myself this question and this is the rollercoaster my thoughts took me on: 


1. They just forget to like the picture.
Maybe they get sidetracked or even worse, the page refreshes itself and they don’t know who uploaded the picture/can’t find the picture anymore.
When this happens to me :|
*ARGHHHH*

2. They don’t go on their news feed page.
I am professionally guilty of this, especially not going on the ‘following’ news feed. That’s more because I don’t really care what pictures people are liking or who they’ve decided to follow. 

3. They don’t like your posts.
Why these people are following you is a mystery. I mean why follow someone on a picture sharing app unless you actually like the pictures they upload?
Who knows *insert sigh*.

4. You’re not a camera whore. 
This is not essential for likes and comments, however if you like bringing attention to yourself via picture taking then it is a sure way to get some panties wet, apparently.

5. They may not be following you anymore more.
When you’re profile is private then people can only engage with you by @’ing you on another picture. They can’t like your pictures or comment on em. 

6. They follow too many people.
I’m suffering from this at the moment. When you follow too many people your feed updates wayyy too fast and you miss out on the little gems people upload. Solution? Unfollow people based on whether or not you can do without following them (I’m going to do a post for anyone who wants an explanation as to why I unfollow, why I follow you and why I may one day unfollow you). 


7. They can’t be bothered to double click/tap the like button.
Lazy tossers. You know the sorts.
Love it.
They watch in silent, like that creepy old man from my childhood, sitting on the park bench, staring. 

8. They want to play God and prevent you from getting that extra comment or like.
I am jealous of these people. They are ridiculously powerful and live on the Candy Floss Mountain with Father Christmas and the fairies. They ride unicorns to work. I wish I could hold out on giving people likes and comments like these gods/goddesses but it’s impossible, I am only a mere mortal.

If I like something I have to comment or at least click the like button. 

9. You’re not reciprocating when they like or comment on your pictures.
Some people keep it simple:
you follow - they follow,
you comment - they comment,
you like - they like.
They may be sensitive/emotional, like to keep everything in balance or they’re just being real. I mean if you’re not clicking like on their pictures, why would they bother liking your pictures? A few followers may feel a little left out and not wish to engage with you because of this, I say oh well, fuck em. Until they click unfollow they’re still a fan.

10. Maybe they’re 007 and their mission is to spy on you?
I love these people. They know what you get up to every weekend, but you barely remember they exist.

Hah, they live their life watching you live your life. How awesome.


All this said, @vescoe rarely likes my pictures. I wonder if it’s because of one of the reasons I mentioned?

It’s #FreakyFridays bishes.

I was supposed to post this on Tuesday for #TellTaleTuesday,

I want to apologise but that wouldn’t be right.

I mean, I was busy living life like a fucking motherfucking monsterrr, I can’t apologise for that.

Forgive the typos, I’m rushing around.

Man like @vescoe updates his Instagram regularly and his latest post asked

"do you wonder why people who are active on their Insta never like your photos"’

I found myself thinking

"mmm"

I mean I have over 1350 followers and getting over 100 likes on any of my pictures is uncommon.

So I asked myself this question and this is the rollercoaster my thoughts took me on: 

1. They just forget to like the picture.

Maybe they get sidetracked or even worse, the page refreshes itself and they don’t know who uploaded the picture/can’t find the picture anymore.

When this happens to me :|

*ARGHHHH*

2. They don’t go on their news feed page.

I am professionally guilty of this, especially not going on the ‘following’ news feed. That’s more because I don’t really care what pictures people are liking or who they’ve decided to follow. 

3. They don’t like your posts.

Why these people are following you is a mystery. I mean why follow someone on a picture sharing app unless you actually like the pictures they upload?

Who knows *insert sigh*.

4. You’re not a camera whore. 

This is not essential for likes and comments, however if you like bringing attention to yourself via picture taking then it is a sure way to get some panties wet, apparently.

5. They may not be following you anymore more.

When you’re profile is private then people can only engage with you by @’ing you on another picture. They can’t like your pictures or comment on em. 

6. They follow too many people.

I’m suffering from this at the moment. When you follow too many people your feed updates wayyy too fast and you miss out on the little gems people upload. Solution? Unfollow people based on whether or not you can do without following them (I’m going to do a post for anyone who wants an explanation as to why I unfollow, why I follow you and why I may one day unfollow you). 

7. They can’t be bothered to double click/tap the like button.

Lazy tossers. You know the sorts.

Love it.

They watch in silent, like that creepy old man from my childhood, sitting on the park bench, staring. 

8. They want to play God and prevent you from getting that extra comment or like.

I am jealous of these people. They are ridiculously powerful and live on the Candy Floss Mountain with Father Christmas and the fairies. They ride unicorns to work. I wish I could hold out on giving people likes and comments like these gods/goddesses but it’s impossible, I am only a mere mortal.

If I like something I have to comment or at least click the like button. 

9. You’re not reciprocating when they like or comment on your pictures.

Some people keep it simple:

you follow - they follow,

you comment - they comment,

you like - they like.

They may be sensitive/emotional, like to keep everything in balance or they’re just being real. I mean if you’re not clicking like on their pictures, why would they bother liking your pictures? A few followers may feel a little left out and not wish to engage with you because of this, I say oh well, fuck em. Until they click unfollow they’re still a fan.

10. Maybe they’re 007 and their mission is to spy on you?

I love these people. They know what you get up to every weekend, but you barely remember they exist.

Hah, they live their life watching you live your life. How awesome.

All this said, @vescoe rarely likes my pictures. I wonder if it’s because of one of the reasons I mentioned?

It’s #FreakyFridays bishes.

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I’m back. Yay.(to anyone who actually missed me)*no one steps forward, clears throat and continues* I remember my first love was MSN, I regularly cheated on her with Hi5.
There were many more to cum (all over my over my computer screen) through the years including
MySpace, who I left for Facebook,
who I then left, to embark on naughty adventures with Twitter, Tumblr and Instagram, all in the name of ‘MXIIIXM’.Oh and there was that whore,
Blackberry Messenger, we don’t talk about her - she’s like that community bicycle in the village, that girl you would never dream about walking with on the roadside with, the one you would only mess with when the lights are off and you’re wearing very dark sunglasses.-It was wicked at first. I proper loved it.Then I began to see the bitchy, bitching, bitches with their indirects, flying from @ to @, like tennis at Wimbledon. There was the constant drama featuring ‘he said this’ and ‘she said that’.
Not my scene.
These envious, insecure, self obsessed, attention craving whores made me think
'why am I doing this'?
Am I part of ‘this’?
The crux of the matter is if this were real life, in the real world, I would stay well away from this group of people.

… but this is not the real world is it Mr. Alexander?
No it is not Mr. Alexander …
 (the cyberpunk spirit embodied in The Matrix rocks, just saying)


I will be frank, Amy Winehouse style,
if I do not ask you for your opinion on
MY LIFE
and the way I live it,
why the fuck are you sharing your views with me?That said, essentially, that is how things work on the internet.
If you put something out there, in a public forum, you give these internet pigeon sluts the opportunity to do just that.
I accepted this and removed myself.-I have reached an understanding.
I refuse to let a rainy day put me in a bad mood or a Monday morning make me feel down. So I’m going back in - no condom.
You get the good mingled in with the bad and nothing is ever perfect. You just have to live your life and do what makes you happy.
I know who I am and I will continue to do me. Fuck the rest.
Fuck a million followers, 
(and the inevitable unfollowers lol),
the comments
and likes etc.I live in the real world where people breathe, sleep, laugh, cry, eat, shit, study, work, go cinema, create memories with friends and family, sing, dance like a white girl, party, pierce, tattoo, suck, fuck, rim, scissor, lickadickaday, brukk up di rass clart pumpum *insert bashment music*, make mistakes, hurt and feel pain, hate, love, live and die in. That is reality.If you live in that world too follow me. 
I’m joking lol.
So, there you have it, the reason why I periodically pull a ‘Casper’ in the social networking stratosphere and why I’m saying fuck the online politics in my own sincere way. I’m back. Yay. 

I’m back. 
Yay.

(to anyone who actually missed me)
*no one steps forward, clears throat and continues* 

I remember my first love was MSN, I regularly cheated on her with Hi5.

There were many more to cum (all over my over my computer screen) through the years including

MySpace, who I left for Facebook,

who I then left, to embark on naughty adventures with Twitter, Tumblr and Instagram, all in the name of ‘MXIIIXM’.

Oh and there was that whore,

Blackberry Messenger, we don’t talk about her - she’s like that community bicycle in the village, that girl you would never dream about walking with on the roadside with, the one you would only mess with when the lights are off and you’re wearing very dark sunglasses.

-

It was wicked at first. I proper loved it.

Then I began to see the bitchy, bitching, bitches with their indirects, flying from @ to @, like tennis at Wimbledon. There was the constant drama featuring ‘he said this’ and ‘she said that’.

Not my scene.

These envious, insecure, self obsessed, attention craving whores made me think

'why am I doing this'?

Am I part of ‘this’?

The crux of the matter is if this were real life, in the real world, I would stay well away from this group of people.

… but this is not the real world is it Mr. Alexander?

No it is not Mr. Alexander …

 
(the cyberpunk spirit embodied in The Matrix rocks, just saying)



I will be frank, Amy Winehouse style,

if I do not ask you for your opinion on

MY LIFE

and the way I live it,

why the fuck are you sharing your views with me?

That said, essentially, that is how things work on the internet.

If you put something out there, in a public forum, you give these internet pigeon sluts the opportunity to do just that.

I accepted this and removed myself.

-

I have reached an understanding.

I refuse to let a rainy day put me in a bad mood or a Monday morning make me feel down. So I’m going back in - no condom.

You get the good mingled in with the bad and nothing is ever perfect. You just have to live your life and do what makes you happy.

I know who I am and I will continue to do me. Fuck the rest.

Fuck a million followers, 

(and the inevitable unfollowers lol),

the comments

and likes etc.

I live in the real world where people breathe, sleep, laugh, cry, eat, shit, study, work, go cinema, create memories with friends and family, sing, dance like a white girl, party, pierce, tattoo, suck, fuck, rim, scissor, lickadickaday, brukk up di rass clart pumpum *insert bashment music*, make mistakes, hurt and feel pain, hate, love, live and die in. That is reality.

If you live in that world too follow me. 

I’m joking lol.

So, there you have it, the reason why I periodically pull a ‘Casper’ in the social networking stratosphere and why I’m saying fuck the online politics in my own sincere way. 

I’m back. 
Yay. 

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Last summer I ate nothing but fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds and drank only water for a whole month/30 days. 
I set out to raise £100 for charity but ended up raising £135. Yay.For those who don’t believe this was a challenge, understand that I don’t drink water - ever. Then imagine not eating any cluck cluck, baa baa, quack quack, moo moo (including their titty juice and its children cheese, yogurt etc) or oink oink (yuck) or chips or rice or … the list goes on.It wasn’t easy.I’m doing it again for 100 days this time and I want to raise over £100 again .This is an interactive operation.I’ll update everyone via my Tumblr, Twitter and Instagram with images (and maybe a saucy video if you lot are lucky).The charity I raised money for last year was WaterAid.www.justgiving.com/AlexanderLondonThey do great work providing clean drinking water to countries where clean drinking water is not available to everyone. This year I will be fundraising and creating awareness for Great Ormond Street Hospital Children’s Charity (GOSHCC). The NHS (England’s ‘free’ national health service funded by taxpayers) meets the day to day running costs of the hospital, however additional income allows Great Ormond Street Hospital to remain at the forefront of care for sick children with heart problems, cancer, leukaemia, sickle cell, HIV, AIDS and much much more.It wasn’t a difficult choice even though I thought why not send the money ‘here’ or ‘there’. There are millions of good causes but I had to pick one and I’m happy with my choice.They save lives develop new treatments build state of the art facilities and support patients and their families.I love children and helping just one child live a better life is a cause I’m willing to support.I’m not trying to convince you as to why you should give money to help others, that’s your choice, however to pull this off I need as many of you sexy people as possible to sponsor me and donate.I’m trying to raise £100 so donate whatever amount you wish (minimum donations of £1 please).
If I get £1 donations from 100 people.If I get £2 donations from 50 people.If I get £5 donations from 20 people.If I get £10 donations from 10 people.If I get a £100 donation from 1 person then I’ll eat whatever they want me to eat *wink wink*.Why am I doing this? Just my humble effort to do a little good.Please visit www.justgiving.com/NibbleMyApple to donate. I will not be accepting cash, cheques, credit card details or any sexual favours as donations so please do not offer, as refusal sometimes causes offence.Make sure you don’t forget to click ‘Gift Aid’ and leave a comment so I can give you a shout out.Thank you and may the odds be ever in your favour,(I watched Hunger Games on the weekend frigging awesomeee)MXIIIXM

Last summer I ate nothing but fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds and drank only water for a whole month/30 days. 

I set out to raise £100 for charity but ended up raising £135. 
Yay.

For those who don’t believe this was a challenge, understand that I don’t drink water - ever. Then imagine not eating any cluck cluck, baa baa, quack quack, moo moo (including their titty juice and its children cheese, yogurt etc) or oink oink (yuck) or chips or rice or … the list goes on.
It wasn’t easy.
I’m doing it again for 100 days this time and I want to raise over £100 again .

This is an interactive operation.
I’ll update everyone via my Tumblr, Twitter and Instagram with images (and maybe a saucy video if you lot are lucky).

The charity I raised money for last year was WaterAid.
www.justgiving.com/AlexanderLondon
They do great work providing clean drinking water to countries where clean drinking water is not available to everyone. 

This year I will be fundraising and creating awareness for Great Ormond Street Hospital Children’s Charity (GOSHCC). The NHS (England’s ‘free’ national health service funded by taxpayers) meets the day to day running costs of the hospital, however additional income allows Great Ormond Street Hospital to remain at the forefront of care for sick children with heart problems, cancer, leukaemia, sickle cell, HIV, AIDS and much much more.

It wasn’t a difficult choice even though I thought why not send the money ‘here’ or ‘there’. There are millions of good causes but I had to pick one and I’m happy with my choice.
They save lives develop new treatments build state of the art facilities and support patients and their families.

I love children and helping just one child live a better life is a cause I’m willing to support.
I’m not trying to convince you as to why you should give money to help others, that’s your choice, however to pull this off I need as many of you sexy people as possible to sponsor me and donate.

I’m trying to raise £100 so donate whatever amount you wish (minimum donations of £1 please).

If I get £1 donations from 100 people.
If I get £2 donations from 50 people.
If I get £5 donations from 20 people.
If I get £10 donations from 10 people.
If I get a £100 donation from 1 person then I’ll eat whatever they want me to eat *wink wink*.

Why am I doing this? Just my humble effort to do a little good.

Please visit www.justgiving.com/NibbleMyApple to donate. 
I will not be accepting cash, cheques, credit card details or any sexual favours as donations so please do not offer, as refusal sometimes causes offence.

Make sure you don’t forget to click ‘Gift Aid’ and leave a comment so I can give you a shout out.

Thank you and may the odds be ever in your favour,
(I watched Hunger Games on the weekend frigging awesomeee)

MXIIIXM

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I think I’m fun, infact I know I’m fun. I’m spontaneous, wild and bloody hilarious (to myself and a handful of people at least). I like my clothes, a little bit ‘not your usual’ maybe, an avid piercing lover and fake freak (LIESSS).I’m a good listener and I give even better advice, very brutally honest - ask about me and I’m not bad in the bedroom department either (ok I lied, but I mean give me a break, I’m working with 3 inches here).However put simply I love myself but I don’t think I’m hot.
I’ve got high self esteem so it’s not a confidence thing, I just don’t think I’m as yummy as fuck. The day you see me say anything egotistical along the lines of “I’m so fucking hot”, call an exorcist, because I’m possessed. I rate myself highly, just not in the looks department and my handsomeness (or lack of) is not part of the equation, I pay my looks no mind at all.Do I think I’m ugly? Fuck no. Do I think “she” likes me for my looks? Mmm, hard question …I don’t know if I’m making sense but this whole post is due to a certain Wura of http://www.africantwintowers.tumblr.com saying: 
"Mate. You’re one bloody fit bloke!" on my Instagram picture.*the elephant enters the room and sits down*I don’t even know what to reply. Maybe I should wear some make up like POW, “heyyy, look at meee, all of a sudden I’m yummy as fuckkk”.It ain’t that strange and idea, half the fucking girls in London are doing it …

I think I’m fun, infact I know I’m fun. I’m spontaneous, wild and bloody hilarious (to myself and a handful of people at least). I like my clothes, a little bit ‘not your usual’ maybe, an avid piercing lover and fake freak (LIESSS).

I’m a good listener and I give even better advice, very brutally honest - ask about me and I’m not bad in the bedroom department either (ok I lied, but I mean give me a break, I’m working with 3 inches here).

However put simply I love myself but I don’t think I’m hot.


I’ve got high self esteem so it’s not a confidence thing, I just don’t think I’m as yummy as fuck. The day you see me say anything egotistical along the lines of “I’m so fucking hot”, call an exorcist, because I’m possessed. 

I rate myself highly, just not in the looks department and my handsomeness (or lack of) is not part of the equation, I pay my looks no mind at all.

Do I think I’m ugly? Fuck no. Do I think “she” likes me for my looks? 
Mmm, hard question …

I don’t know if I’m making sense but this whole post is due to a certain Wura of http://www.africantwintowers.tumblr.com saying: 


"Mate. You’re one bloody fit bloke!" 

on my Instagram picture.

*the elephant enters the room and sits down*

I don’t even know what to reply. 

Maybe I should wear some make up like POW, “heyyy, look at meee, all of a sudden I’m yummy as fuckkk”.

It ain’t that strange and idea, half the fucking girls in London are doing it …

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I found this gif online. The image makes me happy. In fact I’ve made a post about bums just because of it. 

First and foremost can I get in trouble for using people’s pictures on my posts? Someone let me know so I can carrying on giving this much *insert air* of a fuck.
 
What is the first thing you notice when you look at this picture? Their faces or their outfits? The background or maybe the flooring? Sidenote: Nice shoes contestant number 3 in the yellow with polka dots, I love em.Look I ain’t  trying to take a dig at no one or judging in some self righteous manner, not at all. Nonetheless, I must speak my mind and be honest and truthful.This whole bum thing needs clarifying. Ladies, if you pose with your bum out in a picture, we heterosexual, red blooded males, who appreciate all shapessizescoloursof the female derrière WILL think (when you get down to the crux and essence of it all)"I want to fuck". Some men will stare too long and get caught, other more calculating lads will do that ‘3 seconds rule’ shit. Personally, I like to switch it up - I love it when she knows that I know that she knows I’ve been peeping like my name is Thomas but we’re perving and having fantastic unspeakable and sometimes illegal fantasies in our heads.Put simply, we’re SEXUALLY attracted to you, the key being sex.We don’t know you, we don’t see your face, you could be Somali for all we care - but we want to FUCK you.-Please note however nice attention is there is a thing called self respect.It feels nice to be complimented about your assets but with most men what we see is what we get e.g. "She has sex on the first night - whore""She made me wait months - wife"-
This does not mean he will treat you wrong however, do not then be surprised when a geezer does not respect you, sees you only after the sun has gone down, doesn’t want to be seen out and about with you, take you anywhere *insert more stories of how you were treated lol*.ConclusionIf you want to catch a man for the right reasons, tuck your bum away (or breasts).Let him get to know you for your personality or maybe the fact that you’re a cutie.Please remember I live by the principles of ‘Each To Their Own’ (ETTO), and I don’t discriminate or judge anyone as I wouldn’t want someone to do that to me.This is not a personal attack, it’s just how I see it. The potential mother of my children, my someday wife, the woman I will spend the rest of my life with, will not be recruited if she’s been up to such things.Big turn off when you want to take someone seriously.I don’t want everyone seeing her secret bits. That is for us to share, not some horny little freak, wanking over her picture. Fuck that. Pshhh, what do I know anyways? Just thought I’d share my thoughts. This whole blog is a contradiction. I love it when a girl has her bum and tits out, I’m a perve.

So I ask you again, what’s the first thing you notice? Personally I was looking at their hair. That’s another story though.#TeamCurls 

I found this gif online. The image makes me happy. In fact I’ve made a post about bums just because of it.

 

image


First and foremost can I get in trouble for using people’s pictures on my posts? Someone let me know so I can carrying on giving this much *insert air* of a fuck.

 

What is the first thing you notice when you look at this picture? Their faces or their outfits? The background or maybe the flooring? 

Sidenote: 
Nice shoes contestant number 3 in the yellow with polka dots, I love em.


Look I ain’t  trying to take a dig at no one or judging in some self righteous manner, not at all. Nonetheless, I must speak my mind and be honest and truthful.

This whole bum thing needs clarifying. 

Ladies, if you pose with your bum out in a picture, we heterosexual, red blooded males, who appreciate all 
shapessizescolours
of the female derrière WILL think 
(when you get down to the crux and essence of it all)
"I want to fuck"

Some men will stare too long and get caught, other more calculating lads will do that ‘3 seconds rule’ shit. Personally, I like to switch it up - I love it when she knows that I know that she knows I’ve been peeping like my name is Thomas but we’re perving and having fantastic unspeakable and sometimes illegal fantasies in our heads.

Put simply, we’re SEXUALLY attracted to you, the key being sex.
We don’t know you, we don’t see your face, you could be Somali for all we care - but we want to FUCK you.

-

Please note however nice attention is there is a thing called self respect.
It feels nice to be complimented about your assets but with most men what we see is what we get e.g. 
"She has sex on the first night - whore"
"She made me wait months - wife"

-


This does not mean he will treat you wrong however, do not then be surprised when a geezer does not respect you, sees you only after the sun has gone down, doesn’t want to be seen out and about with you, take you anywhere *insert more stories of how you were treated lol*.

Conclusion
If you want to catch a man for the right reasons, tuck your bum away (or breasts).

Let him get to know you for your personality or maybe the fact that you’re a cutie.

Please remember I live by the principles of ‘Each To Their Own’ (ETTO), and I don’t discriminate or judge anyone as I wouldn’t want someone to do that to me.
This is not a personal attack, it’s just how I see it. 
The potential mother of my children, my someday wife, the woman I will spend the rest of my life with, will not be recruited if she’s been up to such things.
Big turn off when you want to take someone seriously.

I don’t want everyone seeing her secret bits. 
That is for us to share, not some horny little freak, wanking over her picture. 
Fuck that. 

Pshhh, what do I know anyways? Just thought I’d share my thoughts. This whole blog is a contradiction. I love it when a girl has her bum and tits out, I’m a perve.

So I ask you again, what’s the first thing you notice? 
Personally I was looking at their hair. 

That’s another story though.

#TeamCurls